The Sure Thing

“Man the girls here love us White guys. It’s so easy, it’s like shooting fish in a barrel. You don’t have to do anything and they just come to ya’.”
“Ya, I know what ya’ mean. I was down at The Local Bar a couple of weeks ago. There was this girl. Man, was she hot. I struck out, so I couldn’t figure out what was going on. Then I was talking to this local guy I know, and he fixed me up really good and when I went back last week, she was all over me.”
“What’s going on?
“He says that I look like a nerd with my old hair cut and the local chicks, they just aren’t inta that.”
“Ya’ don’t believe that crap do you?”
“No, no, it’s true. He was telling me that the local chicks who hang out in bars, they’re really looking for a certain look.”
“Is that why you got your hair cut last week?”
“Yaaa. You got it. It cost me a lot of money, but I got it cut like that movie star ya see on TV all the time. It was like magic. My buddy told me what to do, and it was amazing. All I had to do was sit there and the chicks just started lining up for me.”
“Ya, the local chicks, they’re so into us White guys. Man, I never seen anything like it. All we gotta do is sit back and they just hit on us.”
“But man, that chick was a bit nutty. I got back to her house, and I was lookin’ in her bathroom and it’s full of all these kinds a’ drugs. I don’t know what they’re for.”
“What kind a’ drugs?”
“I don’t know. They had all kinds a’ wierd names. I just remember one of them was called Prizide or something like that. I think it’s for headaches. But man she was one wierd chick. I’m not callin’ her again.”
“How ya’ gonna manage that?”
“Easy, I don’t tell her my real name or anything like that. She hasn’t got a clue how to find me. Ya’ gotta be thinking ahead on this one.”
“What if ya’ like her and wanna see her again, and she catches ya’ lying?”
“That’s nothing. Ya’ just tell her it’s a language problem. Besides, as long as ya’ keep things simple, it’s easy. Just make up a story ahead of time and you can get away with anything.”
“So what kinda line did ya’ hit her with?”
“I just tell ’em how beautiful they are. My friend told me that local guys never say stuff like that, so when ya’ tell them that kind a stuff, they think you’re nuts about them. It’s the same if you tell ’em that you’re in love. They’re just suckers for ya’. They believe anything ya’ tell ’em.”
“Ya, but then there’s the psychos, call you about 10,000 times a week.”
“No problem. Most of those kind are like really good girls. It takes a long time to get their pants off. So if it takes ya’ a few months to get their pants off, who cares. The first time ya’ can do them, don’t. Don’t do anything with ’em. Wait for da’ second time. What’s one more date?”
“That’s just fucked up. Why would you do that?”
“But then they figure that you’re crazy about them. You can do anything you want after that. You could fuck another girl right in front of dem and dey’d figure yur still in love with her more.”
“Ah man, that rocks. Man these girls are easy.” Ya’ don’t have to do anything to score with ’em.”
“Ya, but I always go for the sure and easy one.”
“Easy. That’s a blast. They’re all so easy. Whadda ya’ mean?”
“Like ya’ know Suzie. I shouldn’t tell you this, but she’s so proper at work, well you know, if you get her a little loaded, she goes nuts. She’s down on ya’ in a second. And she’s a cheap drunk, too.”
“I’ll have to give her a try. I’ve never done her before and that sounds like fun. But it’s the same with Annie. You know, she got loaded a couple of weeks back and did 2 guys at once. And she got off on it. Go for her. She’s easy. you hardly have to do anything and ya’ can score.”
“Man, these local girls are great.”
“They sure are. Ya don’t have ta do anything ta score wit dem.”

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